Girl Crush
by zoenichole
Summary: It was all because Dorcas had a girl crush on Emmeline Vance.


**"Girl Crush"**

Dorcas's heart sped up before she even noticed who had walked into the room. She didn't need to turn around to know that the tall, thin blonde had walked into the Charms classroom. Whenever Emmeline Vance was near, Dorcas got a rush, heated skin, cold sweats, and tongue-tied. She didn't know what it was. Emmeline was pretty enough, and smart enough, but Dorcas wasn't interested in her. Dorcas knew for sure she was into men, but for some reason, she reacted to Emmeline the same way she reacted to Remus Lupin, the boy that had held her affection for years now. Remus didn't know he held her affection; he didn't know that he broke her heart every time he kissed Emmeline, held Emmeline, or talked about Emmeline.

Emmeline Vance was Dorcas's girl crush, simply because she had the boy Dorcas had been in love with since she was fifteen.

Dorcas had it bad for Emmeline. She wanted everything Emmeline had. Emmeline seemed to have everything Dorcas had ever wanted. Remus once told her that he fell in love with Emmeline's smile first. Said it reminded him of sunshine. Remus told her he fell in love with Emmeline's laugh second. Said it reminded him of midnight. Being a werewolf, Remus was freed from his human confinement during the full moon at the stroke of midnight. While he hated being a werewolf and all that came with it, he claimed that after transforming, before his mind was completely taken over by the animal in him, there was an intense feeling of calmness. Remus wasn't often calm when his lycanthropy was the topic of subject, but he said that he loved that calm moment, and Emmeline's laugh reminded him of midnight.

It was September in Whales, and it was quickly approaching fall. The temperature wouldn't be this nice in a few more days, so many of the students were lounging about the grounds, soaking up the last rays of sun and the lingering heat on a Friday afternoon after a hard week of classes. Dorcas was leaning against a tree with Lily and Marlene. Marlene had head in Dorcas's lap, while Lily kept peaking over the top of her book over to where three of the four marauders were sitting about five feet away, focusing on James Potter more than the other two. The fourth marauder was sitting farther away, with his girlfriend Emmeline. She threw back her head in a laugh, and Remus leaned forward, kissing the smile on her lips.

If you asked, Dorcas would swear that she didn't care. But, Dorcas did care. She cared that her heart ached, because she didn't have that smile and midnight laugh.

Dorcas wanted to know what was so damn special about Emmeline Elizabeth Vance. She knew she got decent grades, but Dorcas was in more advanced classes. She knew that Emmeline was pretty, with her long blonde hair, but Dorcas was pretty too, with her elbow-length chestnut brown hair. She couldn't fathom what was so wrong with her that Remus hadn't even looked at her _that_ way. Dorcas wanted to taste Emmeline's lips, just once, to see if they tasted like Remus. He always smelled like home and chocolate, and she wanted to know if he tasted like home and chocolate too. Emmeline had lived with Lily, Marlene, Alice and Dorcas since first year. Dorcas knew that Emmeline's perfume was Lavender, and that it was one of Remus's favorite smells. After she found that out, Dorcas bought the same perfume, hoping in vain that Remus would notice. She felt that she was drowning in the Lavender perfume.

Even though she loved her chestnut curls, she wanted blonde hair just for a little bit. She wanted the long blonde hair Emmeline had, the long blonde hair that Remus was gently caressing as Emmeline played with his hands. Dorcas watched Remus tip his head back contentedly with a smile as Emmeline reached up with one hand and pushed back his sandy blonde hair. Dorcas wished she had Emmeline's magic touch, to make Remus fall in love with her just was a soft touch to the forehead. Maybe then he'd want her just as much as he wants Emmeline.

Dorcas had a girl crush on Emmeline Vance. 

Sunday nights were always the hardest nights to fall asleep. Anticipation for the upcoming week usually kept everyone else awake, but that isn't what kept Dorcas up one cold Sunday night in December. She couldn't stop thinking about Emmeline and Remus. It was like she couldn't have a single moment of piece—a single moment where she didn't obsess over the tall blonde. She knew that at this moment Emmeline was likely in Remus's bed, snuggled under the bed sheets and cuddled next to Remus. Thinking about Emmeline under his bed sheets made Dorcas want to cry She was once in that bed, laughing with Remus as they passed a bottle of firewhiskey between them during sixth year. Now, it was Emmeline on those very bed sheets. 

Dorcas knew that with every whisper that Emmeline was pulling Remus farther into her arms. She'd seem them in the corridor, and she'd see how Emmeline would lean into Remus, and whisper into his ear, both of them smiling at the quiet secrets being exchanged between them, and them only. It made Dorcas sick, how she couldn't get Emmeline off of her damn mind. She'd tried so hard to stop thinking about Emmeline Vance in the six months since Remus had started dating her. Emmeline was always on Dorcas's mind, no matter how hard she tried to get her out of her thoughts.

The tears fell down Dorcas's cheeks as she thought of Emmeline and Remus. She always swore she would never be one of _those_ girls—you know, the girls who cry over a guy because he doesn't love her. And here she was—crying in bed at 11:23 on a cold Sunday night in December. It was pathetic, really. She was a seventeen year old girl living in a world with a war brewing and danger was around her and yet, she was crying over a goddamn _boy_.

At this point she didn't even want to replace Emmeline—she just wanted to know what it felt like. Just once. That's all she was asking for, just a chance to taste her lips 'cause they tasted like him. Just a chance to drown herself in a bottle of Emmeline's perfume, because _obviously_ the bottle she has is ineffective in catching Remus's eye. Just a chance to have that long blonde hair that Remus favored, and that magic touch that made him close his eyes and smile in complete and utter satisfaction.

Maybe then he'd want her just as much, if even for a moment.

Damn it. Dorcas had a girl crush.

She hated to admit it, really, but the tell-tale heart rush as Emmeline ran past her solidified that Dorcas had a girl crush.

She felt that it wouldn't slow down, or even go away for a while, even as she saw the tears run down Emmeline's face, and the nasty look she threw Dorcas's way.

As she made her way down the corridor, she saw Remus. His head was leaning against the stone wall, with a grimace on his face and a few dried tears. When she stopped in front of him, Remus opened his eyes and gave her a small smile. Dorcas smiled back, though she felt it wasn't as strong as it usually was. Remus reached for her, and Dorcas gave him a hug, hoping he would be okay after whatever had made him so upset. As she pulled away, Dorcas couldn't help but think _I've got it real bad. This heart rush for Remus ain't slowin' down_.

Remus had broken up with Emmeline that night in December, and a month later revealed to Dorcas that she was the reason why. Remus loved her unconditionally for over a year, and she loved him back. They grew to be inseparable, even more than when Remus dated Emmeline. Nine months after dating, Remus proposed to Dorcas with a simple diamond ring with a gold band. She said yes, and their bond grew stronger.

Now Dorcas was the one with the smile that warmed Remus's heart. Her laugh wasn't exactly midnight, but he called it sunshine which was better because he said the feeling of sunshine warming his skin was the same feeling he got when Dorcas was near him. Dorcas didn't need to taste another's lips just for the sake of tasting Remus because he was there whenever she needed him, a kiss for her waiting on his lips. She didn't need to waste her money on Lavender perfume anymore, she could go back to buying Cherry Blossom, which he said reminded him of home, where a cherry blossom tree was growing in the back yard. She didn't need the long blonde hair because Remus was content playing with the chestnut curls that were often splayed across his chest as he held her at night. She had the magic touch that could cure him of any ill feeling or negative emotion. He wanted her more than he had ever wanted anyone in his entire life.

It was awkward at first, Remus, Dorcas, and Emmeline being in the Order of the Phoenix together. They had successfully escaped being on a mission together, but fate seemed to have it out for Dorcas.

They were on a mission in the middle of a cold January night. It was so cold their toes felt frozen, and they could barely move their fingers. Emmeline was sitting on a bench, seemingly waiting for someone, or something. She blended in perfectly. Remus and Dorcas were hiding in the shadows as her back up, if something were to happen to her. They were so close to ending their mission. They were only supposed to watch the surrounding area, in case suspicious activity happened. Nothing had happened for hours, and they thought they were in the clear. With fifteen minutes until their replacements came, Emmeline was attacked.

Two death eaters apparated out of nowhere. Emmeline was completely caught off guard. Remus and Dorcas ran out from where they were hiding, and fired curses at the death eaters, trying to protect Emmeline as she got up from a nasty curse they hit her in the chest. Dorcas reached the three near the bench before Remus, and saw that Emmeline was having a harder time getting up than they originally thought. One of the death eater's raised his wand, a sadistic smile on his face.

Just as the six syllables formed in his throat and made their way to his lips, and a hint of a green light pressed itself out of his wand, Dorcas ran in front of Emmeline. The green curse hit her right in the middle of the chest, and her arms fanned out in a 'T'. Her bouncy chestnut curls were fanned out across her face, and she took her last breath. Her brown eyes met Remus's as he let out a cry of anguish, his heart breaking. Dorcas fell back, landing next to Emmeline. The two death eaters looked at each other for a moment before disapparating. Emmeline looked over at Dorcas, tears streaming down her face. The girl who had first asked if it was okay for her to date Remus after the breakup was now lying beside her, her chest still. The girl that had tried so hard to let her and Remus happen was not breathing. The girl that had saved her from the killing curse was now dead.

All because Dorcas had a _girl crush._


End file.
